Perhaps you remember?
I first referred to the FEEL method for dealing with limits some time ago in the post What are limits?
This post concerns finding your limits—the 'F' in FEEL for Find. We are at the starting point of the Circle of Challenges.
If you type 'find limits' into Google, you'll be surprised to find — nothing. On the other hand, you will find hundreds of entries on the topic of 'setting limits'. Is that a coincidence? No, of course, it's not a coincidence. Our culture focuses more on isolation and preservation than growth and development.
Only people interested in their development and growth want to find their limits. Those not interested in growth are generally not interested in finding their limits. He or she has come to terms with the current conditions in which they live and accepts their life as given and unchangeable.
But how do you find your limits?
Some people might tell me now:
“I really don't have any limits; I'm happy the way things are.”
Great, keep believing that. But your answer only shows that you either haven't thought about it yet or don't know yourself yet.
“Not really knowing yourself?” you ask now.
Yes, exactly. I think this applies to many people. No. It applies to most people!
Maybe you're thinking, “Okay, I do have a few limits. I wouldn't go bungee jumping and skydiving, but I don't have to.”
No, of course, you don't have to. You only have to die at the end of your life; everything before that is your decision. “Decide” says it all—you separate one from the other and stand at a crossroads.
Let us stick with the example of bungee jumping or skydiving. Most people decide against it. That is not bad, but it doesn't mean they leave their comfort zone and their life continues on its usual course. Routine, but perhaps also monotonous. They accept their limits as they are, and there is nothing wrong. It just means that you don't have to look for your limits either because you accept your life as it is, in your comfort zone, which is not bad. It is average. Like everyone else does, but it's never what you're really made of!
The best way to find your limits is to ask the right questions about your life and answer them honestly. These questions are different for everyone, and there are no right or wrong questions. However, the following 20 questions may help you find your own or make them, or part of them, your own questions.
What am I afraid of?
What would I never do?
What is not possible?
What don't you do?
What embarrasses me?
What do others think about me?
What do I think about others?
What do I think about myself?
What can't I do?
What am I not allowed to do?
What would I like to have?
What do I wish for myself?
What do I wish for others?
What do I not reach?
What is bothering me?
What is not good for me?
What have I always wanted?
What does happiness mean to me?
What are my dreams?
Do I have goals?
Be mindful of yourself, listen to yourself, and give yourself the answers to your questions. Please don't make the mistake of questioning yourself while reading here. That does not work. If you want to set out on the path to LIVE WITHOUT LIMITS, you will ask yourself these questions again and again from now on. And you will always find new and different answers to the same questions.
Please realize one thing: the FEEL method is an endless control loop. When you find a limit, you decide to experience and discover it, then eliminate it and let it go — FEEL. Once you have done this, you will be proud and satisfied. But you have not reached your goal. You will immediately find new limits if you ask yourself the right questions again.
Along the way, you will systematically build up your life, expand your comfort zone, and trust yourself more and more - you will grow! Language describes this development wonderfully with the term “outgrowing yourself”. This is precisely what the FEEL method is all about. You get a control loop for never-ending growth.
Let us illustrate this using the example of the question, “What are my dreams?”. Let us say your dream is to immigrate to Spain. You can realize this dream with the FEEL method; we will discuss how later. If you then live in Spain — have you reached the destination of your dreams?
“Yes,” you say spontaneously today.
“Nonsense” is my answer.
Anyone who has reached the goal of their dreams is standing in the forecourt of death. He or she is no longer growing and will soon die. Perhaps not immediately physically, but emotionally for sure.
If you never stop dreaming and understand that new dreams will automatically arise in Spain, then you are on your way to LIVE WITHOUT LIMITS.
LIVE WITHOUT LIMITS means growing throughout life and constantly having new, ever-more-beautiful dreams. And while following your dreams, you understand every day of your life better:
The best is yet to come!
You are not sure about FEEL? Read on:
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